Funny Voicemails

1.
We were at a company picnic and we managed to get our drunk patron. It will piss on a tree, but then he was drunk searching for his penis. Our colleague proceeded to put a hotdog in his hand and he peed in his pants. The funny part was when he was done and his "penis" fell on the ground.

2.
Boss: "What have you done to my computer? I enter my password, but all he gives me is seven asterisks!

Me: "Oh, do not worry. I changed my password to seven asterisks.

Boss: "Oh, Ok, thanks." (Continue to try ...)

3.
My boss sent a birthday card generic for me. He said: "Happy Birthday, Greg! With the word" Greg "crossed out and parked my name above. Greg was fired last month.

4.
So our staff had put together an ad, and I email [] boss and said he might want to take off the shoooo fuh "because it does not look very professional. He replied: "FYI, 'fuh shoooo is slang for" for sure. I am a black girl from Long Beach and 55 year old white person teaching me slang

5.
I leave my number again at home boss on the voicemail because of illness. He asked me one Sunday morning, after seeing this number in the pockets of the pants. Thought he got number one night previous bar. When he realized his mistake, he could not look me in the eyes. treated me like shit afterwards.

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