Hilarious Wedding Jokes

Well I have some good jokes! Please the stars if you like

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced husband ten years.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?
"Well, Husband # 1 was a sales representative: he told me how he was going to be.
Husband # 2 was in software services: he never really sure how it was supposed to work, but he said he had examined the matter and get back to me.
Husband # 3 was from field services: he said everything checked diagnostic, but he could not operate the system.
Husband # 4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he did not know when he would be able to provide.
Husband # 5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband # 6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew, but he was not sure if it was his job or not.
Husband # 7 was in marketing: although he has a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband # 8 was a psychologist: all he ever did about him.
Husband # 9 was a gynecologist: all he did was watch.
Husband # 10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was ... God I miss him! But now that I married you, I'm really excited! "
"Well," said the new husband, but why? "
"You're a lawyer. This time, I know I'll get screwed! "

Did you hear about the blonde ...
Can not learn to ski in the water because she could not find a lake with a slope.
You excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the area said: "2-4 years"
Can not call 911 because there was no 11 on any key on the phone.
When asked what is the capital of California was, answered "C".
A turkey in the oven for three days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their weapons.

I knew a blonde that was so stupid ......
* She called me to get my phone number.
* She spent 20 minutes at the box of orange juice because it said "concentrate".
* She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to decide.
* She tried to put M & M's in alphabetical order.
* She sent me a fax with a stamp.
* She tried to drown a fish.
* She thought a quarter was a refund.
* It has locked in a grocery store and starved.
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She asked for a check of prices at the dollar store.

lmaoo They are great! the joke first letter almost made me pee in my pants lmaoo

ha

lol I can not stop laughing at the first

Funny thing, I know a blonde who does all these things.

hey this is so cool, keep it up. We need people like you in Yahoo Answers.

LOL: D <(hahaha)

haha these are funny
I love them (: