Jokes You Can Text

Hello, im 15 and looking for some jokes clean text that I can send to a friend

nothing sexist or racist please, ideally not taking the piss celebs either.

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I decided to plant lettuce in the back garden. What is the best time to plant? "

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. This is where I hid all the money. "

A week later he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You would not believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug the whole garden."

The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant lettuce.

Why pencil to stop trying?

Because it was unnecessary.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $ 2.00 each on small bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backward. NAIVE

A priest and a nun are golf. The priest is in place. He swings and lack and said: "Oh my god I missed!" The nun gave her a dirty air and the priest swung again. He missed him and said: "Oh my god I missed!" The nun said, "If you say that again, God will open the sky and hit you with lightning! Fluctuations and spleen priest and said: "Oh my god ........ I. missed Then a flash from heaven and struck the nun. All that is heard in the sky "Oh my God I missed"