Wholesome Jokes

A woman takes her sick parrot in VET. She lies on the table. The vet comes and looks at the bird and said stiffly: "Mom Parrot is dead."
She said: "How can you be so sure you watched barley."
The vet says "Ok" and leaves. He soon returned with a cat. He puts the cat on the table. The cat goes to the parrot and he feels up and down several times. The cat then looks at the vet and shakes his head. The vet took the cat out of the room. He returns with a big black dog. The dog jumps on the table and the smell of the parrot. The dog licks while the parrot, stops and looks at the vet and shakes his head. The vet takes the dog, then returns.
He said: "Mame I'm sorry, but your parrot is dead, and it is my bill"
The lady looks at Bill and said "$ 225, why it costs so much to tell me that my parrot is dead?"
the vet replies, "Well, if you had believed me the first time it would cost $ 25, but you insisted that I run several tests so that the cat scan and Lab cost the other $ 200 .

A woman was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One rainy day, she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God - Hurry! Enter your clothes and jump out the window. Home my husband at the beginning!" "I can not jump out the window! It's raining over there!" "If my husband catches us here, he'll kill us both!" She replied. "He has a temper and a gun, so that rain is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabbed his clothes and jumps out the window. As he ran into the street in pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the city's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked with his clothes under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After some time, a small group of riders who had been looked at with some curiosity, almost jogging.

"Have you ever run in the nude? Asked.
"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping for breath. "It feels so wonderfully free!"
Another runner has proposed a long side. "Do you always run carrying out your clothes with you under your arm?"
Oh, yes, "our friend answered breathlessly." So I can dress right at the end of the race and take my car to go home!

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"

"No, only when it rains!

there was a guy Caled person and a guy called crazy and that nobody hit him so mad sho on foot. mad said nobody hit me ... WEL then the cops were like??? then he repeated ... when the cops asked him if he was crzy and he said and he said yes

need to better respond if good

Dracula decides to make a sort of competition to see who is the best bat to be on his side. The rules were simple. The bats drink the blood would be more than the winter. He selects three bats from top competition.

Thus, the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. His mouth was full of blood. Dracula said: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said, "See that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of the whole family."

"Very good," says Dracula.

The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes, his face covered with blood. Dracula says surprised: "How did you do that?" The bat said, "See that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went and drank the blood.